Goodness, it's damn late/early now. 4.12am.
I finished gpp!
..but lit is screwed man. Omg.
It kind of sucks how I'm starting to dislike trainings.
I really, really, really, REALLY hate getting picked on all the time.
It's like whenever stuff is being explained, I'll ALWAYS get mentioned somehow.
So no one makes the mistake except me? I put in extra effort and I still get picked on? While some others were putting so much lesser effort?? I can't do a drill properly, I get glared at, others can't do the drill, just ignore. Rightt, so I'm the one who makes
all the mistakes. Why aren't THEY getting scolded too?!
It was like damn upsetting on wednesday's training ugh.
We played mini-matches, and like practically every 5mins I'll get scolded once. I know, I don't really think while playing, but still! I know my skills are so not there yet, but still!!
It's not like
everyone else was doing
all the right things what. It's not like
everyone else was playing like national players what.
I wasn't the only one.
I'm just easy to pick on, isn't it.
And it's damn pissing how I can get blamed not just for what I did wrongly, but also what OTHERS did. So you can take your time to stroll to your position, talking to each other, with your backs facing the ball and be oblivious to the starting game, then miss my ball when I pass it to you after calling you too,
and you scold ME for that?! I get scolded for having slow reaction, not being able to stop the ball in time sometimes, okay fine, I accept that. My reaction is freaking slow. I know. But when I'm actually being faster and in the end your miss the ball, I GET SCOLDED?! What the hell, seriously.
Freaking annoying.If this goes on, I'm going to hate trainings like shit, seriously.
Okay fine, so people tell me that if I get really sian/upset/annoyed while playing, I'll just end up playing in a worser and worser manner.. But what the shit?! You think I'll want to feel so frustrated and pissed?!
I can't help it!!! So, what, you mean people can just scold you so many thousand times and you just ignore and still feel happy and confident about yourself and what you're doing??!
It sucks like shit.
Talking about this is like giving me a headache.
Wow it's almost 5.
I feel so angsty nowadays.
I need to finish replying to Maryam's letter.
I want to sleep but I'm scared that I'll oversleep again.
I don't want to be late for school anymore.
I think I still have 1 or 2 more cwos to do omg.
Pw's screwing up too. I never thought our group will have conflicts.. But now that we actually started working together, we're like arguing over the smallest matters what the shit! Omg man. Stupid things like where to meet up okay. Damn stupid right. Ugh.
Idk how this project will end up, but I really hope it'll be good. Or at least not bad la.
I'm damn freaking hungry..
I shall just go pack my bag and go to school soon. Maybe I'll sleep for a while on the sofa. I feel quite very pathetic. I really hope things will start to look up from now on.
